#love

I'm feeling a lot today. And, it is too much. There are breaking points and I think we're all at them...

I'm having a hard time not getting on a plane to North Dakota and standing with the NODAPL protestors. I'm feeling guilty for not having the funds to pick up my life and go help fight that fight, and really feel like I'm standing up for whats right...

I have a hard time not crying when I drive down Reseda Blvd just like every other day, only today there's a guy off his bicycle with his hands behind his head and a cop car in the middle of a really busy street with his gun drawn and pointed at the guy... I don't understand this. Of course I do not know the circumstance that these men are involved in, but I know there were thousands of innocent bystanders, driving in their cars AROUND this incident, as well as people on the sidewalks watching this unfold, with phones live streaming, and no semblance of order or back up called for these cops to secure this situation so that no one got hurt!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? WHAT HAVE WE ALL COME TO? WHEN WILL WE WAKE THE FUCK UP?

I'm having a hard time not moving out of this city, out of this country and entering a life of solitude where I wont have to be succumbed to constant heart break...

I'm so done. I give up. I give up on what everyone wants to discuss and fight about. It's a waste of energy and time and my heart can't take it and I SAY NO TO ALL OF THIS HATE SPREADING.

I accept that being AWAKE during this time in history means to be in constant heartache. I take this on, because being ignorant is no where near bliss, and bliss is a whole lot closer to the pain I feel in my heart every single day I've been woke. Doesn't make me less agitated, it makes me feel more passion for what's right. And I see the good, I just don't see the good on any media form we subscribe to to stay "connected" or "informed".

Today I am sad... I'm sad most days, but today I'm a little bit sadder for our world. For earth. For all the humans. We're running our humanity into the ground and I'm so sad that I can't stop it.

#love